Skip Navigation - Search the MetOnline

Metonline Logo
Powered by Google

Volume 27, Issue 11, october 21, 2004

Letters to the Editor

The Boy Who Cried “MOOSE!”

The following is the tragic story of a cricket, a donkey, and a boy who cried “Moose” . . .

Once there was a boy … lets call him Georgie Porgie … who was chair of the Local Sheep-Watchers #244. One night, while Georgie Porgie was out watching sheep (as Sheep-Watchers will do), he spotted a cricket, quietly hopping along (as crickets will do).

For some reason, maybe a need for attention, maybe over a concern of failing cricket physiology 101, no one will never know, Georgie Porgie ran straight to the Village President’s Hut shouting “Cricket! Cricket! CRICKET!”

Some villagers, roused from their sleep, said, “who cares about a dumb old cricket?”

“Maybe you should have studied cricket physiology better,” the village president said, “I had better investigate this cricket matter, or else I might lose my tenuous Interim Village President position, in this very pro-Sheep-Watchers political climate”. And so, the cricket was investigated (results later confirmed, it was in fact a cricket). Unfortunately, the story did not stop here. You see, Georgie Porgie liked the attention so much, that his cricket soon became a moose ...

Once the cricket investigation had begun, Georgie Porgie began to appreciate the politics of Sheep-Watcher advancement. So, the next night, while the villagers were fast asleep, Georgie Porgie once again began to cry out, “Moose! Moose! The cricket became a MOOSE!” The village awoke with a start, and all the villagers came running. As they approached the spot where Georgie Porgie was yelling, they began to slow, for there in front of them was not a moose, but a donkey, a very tired looking donkey (interestingly enough, the Sheep-Watchers had been trying to get rid of this donkey for more than twenty years, quite a long time for one little donkey). Well, a couple of villagers said, “Get that damned donkey once and for all!” A few villagers said, “that’s not a moose, it’s a donkey – what are you so excited about?” And the Village President said “I guess I had better investigate this donkey too.”

Georgie Porgie loved the attention so much, that the next night he had a friend cry, “MOOSE” and again the villagers came running, and again they saw the same tired donkey. Some villagers said, “Get that damned donkey!” Yet again, a couple of villagers said, “it’s still a donkey,” and the village president said, “I guess I had better investigate this donkey, yet again” (note: a special report later confirmed the existence of a donkey, and that the donkey did not have any weapons of mass destruction).

Georgie Porgie really loved the attention, and so he began to taunt the villagers with “if you go to sleep, I’ll cry moose, just you wait and see,” but the village had grown tired of Georgie Porgie, and so once again they went to sleep. That night, surprise surprise, one of Georgie Porgie’s friends cried moose yet again. However, this time something strange happened. No one came running. When Georgie Porgie asked why no one seemed to care, he was greeted with condemnation. “Of course we don’t care – you threatened to do this, so now we don’t believe you.”

Georgie Porgie did not like the sound of that! “I didn’t threaten,” he said to the Local Printer’s Guild. “I merely wanted to make sure you were alert, in case a real moose came along, and there she is, over there!” But still, no one listened. Georgie Porgie had destroyed his credibility as a Sheep-Watcher and a villager. Then, trying to reclaim his shredded dignity, Georgie Porgie cried, “I didn’t say any of that, someone stole my Local Sheep-Watchers #244 password and pretended to be me.” But, it was too late, no one would listen.

To this day, Georgie Porgie still sits, huddled in a corner, chirping to himself “moose ... m-mm-moose ... moose”, but no one is list*ening. You may be tempted to feel sorry for Georgie Porgie, but remember: he brought this upon himself. The sad part of this story is that one day there may be a real moose, but no one will ever know, because no one will ever believe the Local Sheep-Watchers #244 again.

What about the donkey you ask? Well, she is still a donkey, and no matter how many rich Sheep-Watchers from around the state try to get her, she still prevails. Seems like a lot of effort, just to get one little donkey. How embarrassing!

William Safford – safford@mscd.edu