|
By
Tess McCarthy tmccarthy@mscd.edu
What happened to all the good cartoons?
CHRISTOPHER
MENA
menach@mscd.edu
My
dog wakes me up early every Saturday morning, wanting to
go outside and play. I groan and kick at the air while she
licks my face. I open my eyes and sheís looking down at me
with her brown eyes and I think itís not even light outside
yet.
It
is not fair.
And
so, I do some more groaning as I get up from my bed, look
for clothes to put on, find a cigarette and get my keys.
All the while, sheís bouncing around me, wagging her tail
and panting.
I
stumble outside, smoking my cigarette and watch her running
around like a newly freed bird. Halfway through my cigarette,
she does her business and I pick it up with a plastic bag,
gagging all the whileócheck me out now, ladies.
Done,
we head back upstairs, where I realize Iím fully awake and
canít possibly fall back to sleep. So, I sit on my couch
and turn the television on to watch morning cartoons. And,
as Iím watching them, I wonder what the hell happened to
the good stuff.
What
happened to "G.I. Joe?" I remember the little safety
clips they had after each episode, informing me not
to start fires or play with guns or do drugs. Yo, Joe! I
remember the badass Snake Eyes, who I always wanted to be
like, but I could never keep my mouth shut and strenuous
activity was never one of my strong points.
I
remember the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," not
this new, crappy one, and how all they ever wanted was their
next fix of pizza. I remember Kasey Jones and how he made
me want to run around with a hockey mask and kick peopleís
asses.
I
remember "Ghostbusters," and that brings a smile
to my face. It makes me think of Slimmer and Stay Puft. I
remember "He-Man," which I wasnít too crazy about,
honestly. I remember "Thundercats," which ruled!
I remember "Looney Toons" and that damned Roadrunner
and that poor Wyle E. Coyote. I remember "Tom and Jerry." Forgive
me, but I remember Jem with her frizzy hair and blue eye
shadow.
Then
there was "Batman: The Animated Series," which,
I think, should have changed cartoons forever, but never
did. It was a piece of art and won numerous awards. The art
was great, the storytelling compelling and the voice acting
above par. Sometimes I think it was the high-water mark for
cartoons.
And
yet, somehow, cartoons seemed to have fallen short of good
since Iíve grown up. Iíve watched the decline. I watched
as "Pokemon" became the "best thing ever." I
watched that cartoon spawn into video gamesówhich, sadly,
I was guilty of buyingómovies, toys and cereals.
Ah,
then there was "Yu-Gi-Oh." I donít know whether
to vomit or urinate blood. Those were some sad days when
that spiky little androgynous kid graced television screens
and started a craze among the children of our country, collecting
cards and "battling" each other for supremacy of
the cafeteria before getting their asses kicked and cards
stolen.
AndóIím
sorry for resurfacing this memoryóthere was "Ultimate
Muscle," which graced television screens for some time.
It didnít last long, but was allowed to air. The premise?
Iíd be hard-pressed to explain it to you withoutóagainóvomiting
and/or urinating in my pants. But, Iíll take that chance.
It was about an intergalactic wrestling competition, with
a main character named Kid Muscle, who came from Muscle planet.
His trainer was a little person named Meat, who wore diapers.
I wish I were making this up. Do I really need to continue?
I hope not, my pants are wet and thereís vomit on my lap.
Ah,
I miss the days of caped crusaders stopping a maniacal clown
from filling the cityís water supply with a laughing nerve
gas of sorts. I long for triplet ducks who could only be
told apart because of the shirts and hats they were wearing.
These were so much more creative than the garbage of today.
It wasnít "extreme" or "ultimate." It
was cool and didnít try to be pretentious. It was what it
was.
This
is not to say that all cartoons of today are shoddy, cheap
and unimaginative. No, I can think of "Teen Titans"ówhich
I totally loved. But, it was cancelled. I guess it wasnít
extreme enough. And most of the cartoons I do watch now are
on Cartoon Network or on Sunday nights.
So,
yeah. Next time youíre up early in the morning turn to Fox
and WB and watch and remember the way it used to be. And
then, imagine millions of children, sitting in front of their
TVs, eating this crap up by the bowl.
The
Metropolitan welcomes all letters from Metro students, teachers,
faculty and administration. Letters must be typed and submitted
to the Insight Editor by Monday, 3 p.m. the week of production.
Send letters to ngarci20@mscd.edu or leave your letter for
Nic Garcia in the Office of Student Media, Tivoli Student Union,
Room 313. Editors reserve the right to edit all letters for
content, clarity and space. Letters must be signed and dated
with contact information for the writer. Letters may be no
longer than 300 words. Any submissions longer will be considered
for "Their Opinion." All rules apply to longer essays.
Essays may be no longer than 500 words. |
