| Minnesota
gone‘Wild’
MATTHEW QUANE
mquane@mscd.edu
I spent nearly 30 hours on a bus to and from
Minnesota this weekend, only to find that there is nothing
but 900 miles of
cliché from here to there.
Over 20 other Metro students and I hopped a charter bus to Winona,
Minn. to cheer on the Metro men’s basketball team during
the first round of the NCAA Division II tournament.
Across the vast expanse of middle America,
my ocular cavities were bombarded by fields of nothingness (not
to mention the vigorous
assaults, better known as Nebraskan rest areas, upon my olfactory
senses), overweight
women with ankles wider than my waistline (I’ve been losing
weight; I’m back down to 30 inches) and fast food restaurants
manned entirely by white employees.
Minnesota didn’t do much to break this stereotype-fitting
trend.
My first impression of the state came right
as I disembarked from the bus. We had, after 13 hours, reached
our destination
and I was immediately subjected to the vision of an overzealous
(or probably just drunk) Minnesotan, garbed in a Wild hockey
jersey, dancing in the window of Torge’s Live, the bar
attached to our Holiday Inn.
The native leered awkwardly out the window
as we disembarked and a general
feeling of unrest came over our group. Whether it had to do with
the brazen ogling emanating from the window, or the fact that
we were feeling reckless due to having spent over three-quarters
of the day on a bus, I cannot say.
But
some of us were ready to drink.
Torge’s turned out to be quite a hotspot
in Austin, Minn (home of the SPAM factory),
where we were forced to stay. The place was packed, complete
with a live DJ, who was spinning music I could only hope was
meant to be enjoyed with a healthy dose of irony (which is how
Minnesotans describe the taste of their water): “Ice Ice
Baby,” “Cotton-Eyed Joe” and, what may be the
single strangest thing I have ever heard, a techno/country remix
of “Sweet Home Alabama.”
And once again, my expectations were met. The ladies of Austin
are giants, 90 percent
of whom could have easily snapped my slender frame betwixt
their massive pinky fingers. I also saw a guy wearing overalls … in
a nightclub.
But I broke two mindsets this weekend.
One
broken stereotype I brought home is that Metro students have
no school
spirit.
The 18 others who took the trip made enough noise from the stands
that the bus ride back was significantly more quiet; not because
people weren’t talking as much, but because they were
hoarse from cheering.
I even spent a few minutes with them in the
stands, detached from my objectivity,
cheering as Metro drained a few treys to keep the game from
getting out of hand.
If this opportunity comes around next year, you can bet that
I will be doing it again—my only hope is that, next
time around, it is closer to home.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot that second broken stereotype.
Minnesotans have a great sense of humor.
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