Top : Bad Apples skater Atomic Fire gets checked to the ground while trying to make a pass against the Green Barettes March 17 at the Denver Coliseum. Center left: Bad Apples skater Jersey Trouble battles for position against the Green Barettes. Center right:Erin Hess of Denver cheers for the Green Barettes. Bottom :Bad Apples skater Jersey Trouble signs an autograph for 16-year-old fan Bailey Crim after winning their match against The Green Barettes. Crim wears a shirt she made to cheer on her friend Primal Rage from the Bad Apples.

Hell hath no fury like a woman on wheels
by Jeremy Johnson • jjohn308@mscd.edu

Photos by Matthew Jonas • jonasm@mscd.edu

       St. Patrick’s day is often known to be one of the more rowdy and rambunctious holidays of the year. It was no surprise, then, that the historically seedy Denver Coliseum hosted a rather surly group of ladies known as the Denver Roller Dolls for an evening full of bone-crunching, butt-bruising excitement.
   The league’s debut bout was billed as the “Dawn of the Dolls,” and it created what may be the dawn of a new era of extreme sports for fans near and far.
   The debut pitted The Green Barrettes against The Bad Apples in the first bout since the league was created nearly four months ago.
   “ It’s a labor of love,” Bad Apples’ Kitty Kaos said. “The amount of hours and planning and time that went into this and talking the Coliseum into letting an unknown into the venue was a big, big deal.”
   Many of the DRD came from Rocky Mountain Roller Girls league, which began competing in August of 2004. Many of those that split from the RMRG said it was in search of a more competitive “sport-like” environment.
   “ There’s a lot of showmanship in roller derby in the past and it’s kind of been tied to wrestling,” the Green Barrette’s Sissy Rinkshaw said. “But we as a league decided we would not do the fake fighting thing.”
   “ If there’s fights, they’ll be for real; I can guarantee that,” Rinkshaw added. “We made it a sport, again.”
And a brutal sport it is.
   Roller Derby consists of two teams and an oval track. Though the tracks are traditionally banked, the DRD compete on flat, concrete tracks, instead.
   Aggressive by nature, the hip-checking, pushing and spilling can tend to over-shadow a sport that relies squarely on endurance, agility, speed and strategy. And, perhaps, a little St. Patty’s day luck.
   “ Roller derby beats out every sport there is today,” Green Barrette’s Friction VixXxen said. “There’s a lot of strategy that goes into it but sometimes you’re just all Harry Carrey all over the track just trying to stay up.”
   The goal of roller derby is simple. A bout consists of three timed periods and the objective, like most sports, is to accumulate the most points by the bout’s end.
   Each team consists of five skaters that include three blockers, one pivot and one jammer. The pivot usually sets the pace for the pack, while the jammer is the only player on the team that can score points. Skaters often rotate positions from one round to another.
   The blockers and pivots begin each round at the single whistle. Seconds later, the jammers take off to a double whistle and begin pursuit of the pack. The first jammer to cut through the entire pack, without being knocked out of bounds, is the lead jammer. At that point, the “jam” has begun and both jammers can begin to score points based on how many opposing skaters they pass while remaining in bounds.
   The jam ends after two minutes. The lead jammer can also end the jam at any point and may due so for strategic reasons.
   The rules of the rink are similar to those of the hockey kind. Hitting is allowed in the form of hip, torso and shoulder-checks. Another legal move is “whipping,” in which a skater (usually a blocker and sometimes the pivot) “whips” the jammer around, increasing her speed and sometimes allowing her to pass more quickly through the pack.
   “ You know the big girls are going to be awesome blocking and the little girls are going to be awesome jamming,” Bad Apples’ Jersey Trouble said. “But it all comes down to ‘Do you have the heart for it and are you going to go out there and work your ass off?’ If you are, you’ll be a great roller derby girl.”
   Roller Derby began during the Great Depression when promoter Leo Seltzer created the sport to compete with the popular trend of dance marathons. The sport has morphed through several stages of theatrics and doomed economics in the decades since, but is looking for a new revival in today’s shifting sports market.
   “ I think roller derby is quite the phenomenon,” Kaos said. “Especially the fact that this is such an old sport and that it is making such a huge comeback.”
   And the intensity and sincerity of the sport – and perhaps the short skirts and decorative panites – will likely keep the crowds coming back for more.
   “ I said first and foremost that it was really just a great excuse for the exhibitionist buried deep inside,” VixXxen said.
   “ And some of us that don’t have it buried very deep inside,” recruit Sin Dixie added with a laugh.
   It’s not all fun and flirting, though.
   “ It’s absolutely a sport,” Green Barrette’s Sheila Tack said. “Anybody that says it’s not can kiss my ass.”
   The true cause for the Denver derby revival is largely due to the efforts put forth by the members of the DRD.
“ Not only are they hard-core bitches on the track, they are powerhouses,” DPD spokeswoman and Green Barrette Audrey Rugburn said. “I mean, we organized this and put it all on ourselves in a matter of months and its really inspiring.”
   The skaters as a whole are an inspiration. Many of them trained two or three times a week in order to prepare for the debut and the athletes that make up the league are professionals, students and mothers in their spare time.
   “ We’re doing it for a good cause and we pay out of our own pocket and we work our asses off,” Rinkshaw said. “I work full-time and have a three-year-old daughter and roller derby is the other part of my life.”
   Each member of the DPD is also required to do 24 hours of service to charities of their choice and the league itself works with charities such as The Gathering Place, Habitat for Humanity and Project Angel Heart.
   “ We wanted to do something for the community,” Green Barrette’s Pho Kyu said. We felt it was important to give back to the community.”
   And for the men, the bout provides all the competition and grueling athleticism that has always fascinated the lesser species. Along with a little bit of leg.
   “ Any time you get girls bumping into each other and falling down in little short skirts, it’s always fun. Right?” spectator Brian Knowles said. “So I say ‘Come all."