Text by Adam Goldstein • goldstea@mscd.edu Photo by Emily Varisco • varisco@mscd.edu

Photo by Emily Varisco • varisco@mscd.edu

Karaoke Revolution

   It’s not easy being a karaoke star.
   Approaching the improvised stage, I am keenly aware of the 15-plus crowd in this seedy and grungy bar. Sure, they may be inebriated, but they are a crowd nonetheless. Sure, they may not be chanting my name, but I know they will. Oh yes, they will.
   I have been careful and calculating in my song selection: “Bust a Move” by Young MC. This is the number that will make or break my reputation among these drunken bar patrons. I may have warmed them up with Tears for Fear’s “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” and Devo’s “Whip It,” but I know that this is the widow maker.
   The track sounds, the words appear on the screen. I am rapping as quickly and deftly as I can.    That’s right, a 27-year-old half-Jewish white kid from Aurora in a cowboy hat is rapping like an OG straight outta Compton.
   Before I know it, I have captured the crowd. My lyrical prowess draws a middle-aged groupie from the audience who wants a piece of my star power. Oh yes, I am truly busting a move. She tries to match my mad dancing skills, but my bunny hops are too much.
   The song ends and the crowd is on its feet in adulation. I bask in the applause as I think that this is only the first stop. Soon, I will bust a move in Carnegie Hall, complete with my cowboy hat.
   Keep your eye on this half-Jew.