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It's all in the queer family
By Nic Garcia
ngarci20@mscd.edu

Hey you New York homos, you can’t marry and we don’t want you raising our children, the New York State Supreme Court said recently.

“The New York Court of Appeals ruled this morning that the state Constitution does not guarantee a right to marriage for same-sex couples, and that state lawmakers, not the courts, are better suited to consider the issue,” reports The New York Times.

Not only that, but the court majority basically goes on to say, if it were their decision, they would not grant the right to love between homosexuals because, well, it’s always been a boy sticking his pee-pee in a girls hole (as in, not the poop shoot) and gays are incapable of raising well-adjusted children, they say.

The Times continues: “First, the court said, marriage could be preserved as an ‘inducement’ to heterosexual couples to remain in stable, long-term, and child-bearing relationships. Second, lawmakers could rationally conclude that ‘it is better, other things being equal, for children to grow up with both a mother and the father.’”

What does that mean? Oh, that’s it. It’s not about love anymore, it’s about breeding and raising a child. And you know, heterosexuals are great at raising children. That’s why I only see a therapist once a month.

And how many times has J-Lo been married? And let’s not forget about my own parents who have been married twice each.

While on the topic of parents, my former step mother has been married three times. She’s currently seeing a guy. On the other hand, however, her brother, a fag, has been with the same guy almost the same amount of time. While they have no children, they have been very influental in raising my younger, former step-brother.

“Intuition and experience suggest that a child benefits from having before his or her eyes, every day, living models of what both a man and a woman are like,” the court said.

Intuition? Whose intuition? Well, my intuition tells me there isn’t a family left that behaves like the “Leave it to Beaver” clan.

And really, is the court so stupid as to go back to enforcing gender binary stereotypes? Not only is this ruiling a slap to the face of homos across the nation, but also to every other family that doesn’t exactly fit the mold.