Metro: The inevitable cycle

Welcome back.

The start of a new semester at Metro (no, I will not call it The Met) brings with it new hopes and new beginnings.

Freshmen wandering the campus are excited as they take their first dive into college. Third-year seniors are starting to believe that they might actually graduate someday.

While a new school year brings fresh faces and new challenges, seasoned Metro students know that some things are inevitable.

Things such as a clueless administration.

This was proven over the summer when the administration decided calling our school ăThe Metä was the answer to all of the collegeâs woes.

Campus veterans know it will be only a short time before the administration creates some silly new policy or makes some backward decision that will push our school once again in the wrong direction.

Metroâs administration is like a drawn-out Dilbert cartoon ÷ only less funny.
Another thing Metro students can be sure to look out for is self-proclaimed ăstudent activistä Gary Norris, who claims that the school is out to get him.

Please.

Hey, Gary, this isnât the sixties, and youâre on a commuter campus.

Who has your whining helped? Nobody, except maybe this newspaper, which needed to fill some white space detailing your legal battle during the summer.

Students can also count on some excitement from student representatives.

It wouldnât be Metro if student government didnât misuse funds, fire officers or spontaneously blow up.

I know we have a new crop of student legislators who believe that they can get things done ăin the name of the students.ä

But something happens when elected students enter that third-level office in the Tivoli.

Something like a collective brain freeze.

Itâs also only a matter of time before we learn that ÷ yes, once again ÷ tuition will be raised next semester.

And it will be only a matter of time before you and I stand idly by and agree to pay that tuition, unless of course Norris decides to hold yet another student walk-out, proclaiming that the tuition hike is a plot to silence him.

In that case you and I will participate in the said walk-out ... THEN stand idly by and agree to pay that tuition.

Maybe student government can help.

Other predictions:

A Metro student will be hit by the light rail. It happens every year.
The best professor you have ever had will be denied tenure. It has happened to me, it will happen to you.

On the day of your biggest test, you will not be able to find a parking spot.

Gary Norris will cry and whine that I wrote a column about him and will submit a 2,000 word manifesto to decry this column and the school. Nobody will understand it.

Some might label me a cynic, but mark my words, everything I have written will happen in some form or another.

Stay tuned.

And watch out for that light rail.