Contracts should be doled out to those who do the best job

By Dave Flomberg
The Metropolitan

Yuri Vladistov came to this country from behind the iron curtain of the early 1980s. He hid in a train car with livestock for eight days, crossing the Soviet border into Poland, where he worked incognito for a year at a meat- processing plant.

He slept under a bridge on Plenko Street at night, eating scraps from the plant, all so he could save the money to buy a ticket to the land of opportunity. America.

Yuri had a plan. He was going to make his fortune catering Russian events. His great-grandmotherâs cookbook was in his satchel, and he had enough money left over after buying his ticket to rent a studio apartment in Five Points in Denver.

Everyone who tried his grandmother Sophieâs borscht absolutely adored it. Between the popularity of the beet soup and her apricot rugalach, he made enough money to buy a â78 Pinto.

Then, opportunity knocked. 

ãWe need service for 100 tomorrow,ä the man on the phone said. ãGet down to the Tivoli at 4 p.m. to set up.ä

Yuri spent the entire night cooking and preparing the dinner. He did not sleep and canceled a date with a beautiful socialite from Cherry Hills to get ready for his shot at the big time.

Yuri pulled his Pinto into the space near the Tivoli promptly at 4 p.m. He ran upstairs to meet the man.

ãOh, you didnât get the message?ä the man asked Yuri.
ãI have no answering machine,ä Yuri replied.

ãI must have left the message after you left your house,ä the man said.
ãAnyway, we had to give the contract to an Asian woman.ä

ãWhy?ä

ãBecause youâre not Asian. And youâre not a woman. Have a nice day. Smithers, release the hounds.ä

When Yuri went back to his Pinto, it had been towed by Auraria Parking.
That night, Immigration and Naturalization Services had Yuri deported because he was not a productive member a American society.

Yuri was sent to drill for oil in Siberia, where he stayed until he lost his life in a tragic toaster-oven accident last May.

This is not a true story.

But it could have happened.

Whether itâs borscht or wonton, the decision should be based on the soup, not the genetic makeup of the chef.

Gov. Roy Romer doesnât think so. He thinks 17 percent of the contract work done for state agencies should be offered to businesses owned by minorities or females. Auraria is scrambling to fulfill the request.

Personally, I couldnât give a ratâs ass what color the guy fixing my roof is, as long as he does a good job.

We have been working for the last 30 years to blur color lines, and Romer and Auraria are stenciling them back in. Havenât they heard? Polarization is out.

This is the information age, where looks and religion shouldnât matter when interfacing with others.

Itâs all about output.