Valentineās Day: Wholesome love or
love wholesale?

By Dave Flomberg
The Metropolitan

Itās not clear exactly how this festival of two saints, both named Valentine, came to be associated with lovers. The 1997 Information Please Almanac contends that it had something to do with either a pagan festival or the old belief that birds began to mate on this day.

I think itās something much more sinister.

Corporate propaganda.

Think about it. Valentineās Day is the only real holiday in February ÷ what kind of moron buys Groundhog Day cards for somebody? ÷ that generates any revenue. But what does it mean? Thereās no religious observance planned, no patriotic observance planned, yet itās still the second top-grossing gift holiday in the year, behind Christmas.

Itās all about money, baby.

I didnāt think I was alone in this belief, so I took it to the streets. I meandered around campus, asking random people what Valentineās Day meant to them, and I figured Iād let the results speak for themselves.

What does Valentineās day mean to you?

Metro art major, male: It means another day I can forget to blow a wad on my girlfriend and end up spending twice as much on her to make up for it.

Metro business major, female: It means roses, candy and a weekend out of town.

Community College of Denver undeclared major, female: Please leave me alone.

Metro music major, male: Not a damn thing! This holiday is all about supporting the greeting card and candy
industry, and I, for one, refuse to be a part of it. Die, capitalist scum, Die!

University of Colorado at Denver English major, female: Is this a proposition?

Uhh ... no.

UCD female: Good, ācause Iād hate to have to have my boyfriend kick your ass.

CCD business major, male: Valentineās Day means reminding the woman youāre with how much she means to you. Itās a day set aside for sharing love and renewing your commitment.

Do you have a girlfriend?

CCD male: No, but could you print my name and number?

No, but if anyone asks me about it, Iāll be sure to point them in your direction.

CCD male: Thanks, but only blondes. Youāre not printing that, right?

Uhh ...

Metro art major, female: It means the price of red paint has f*****g doubled!

Metro menās rugby player: It means getting loaded and laid! YEEEAAAHH!! (follows up with painful high five)

Is it me, or do the students on this campus seem frighteningly jaded?

Personally, Iām going to have to bite the bullet and blow a few bucks that I donāt have. But even I canāt help enjoying that wide-eyed smile of hers when she opens the gift I gave her.

But do I really need to have a certain holiday to do it?