Parking dream a real nightmare

A dream.

I fell asleep in my car waiting in line at the parking garage the other day.

Maybe it was the noxious fumes spewing out of cars ahead of me, or maybe it was the frustration of never finding a parking spot, but while I was sleeping, the answer to Metroâs parking problem suddenly became crystal clear.

A supertrain, technically titled the Rapid Education Train.

Modeled after the proposed air-train that takes city dwellers to that Kansas airport known as DIA, this supertrain would transport students from locations near their homes to that super-mall college known by some as The Met.

To be politically hip and to avoid being construed as a second-class supertrain, the administration could even issue an order to call it The Met RET.

The train, which would, of course, begin departure at my house, would ride on tracks built on stilts and parallel I-25.

Being above traffic, The Met RET could rip through the suburbs at a godly pace, delivering students to a parking-hassle-free college.

Funding for the train could come from the RTD fees that students at this college pay only to never ride a bus.

Sure, sure, some of you swear by the bus. But thatâs only because youâre too cheap to buy a car, or your car is as ugly as mine, or you donât want to be dropped off by your mom.

Otherwise, people donât ride the bus. The only way to get them out of their cars is to offer them The Met RET supertrain.

The Met RET supertrain would lure people out of their cars, not only by giving students a ride to school but by offering several distinct stops along the way.

One such stop would be Sheila Kaplanâs door, which according to her, is always open.

Strange. In my dream, it was closed.

Anyway, another stop along the way could be that great public relations firm that created Metroâs new moniker, The Met.

Here PR types can help create titles for that term paper you stayed up all night completing.

Titles such as ãABEä for your paper on Abraham Lincoln, ãAMOEä for biology majors writing about amoebas or even ãSTUDä for a paper on the study of human sexuality.

And you thought The Met was good.

Three or four stops at the area community colleges could also be placed on the route.

These stops would be convenient for the former Metro student who claims, ãWell, now I go to (insert school of your choice) because Metro didnât offer what I needed.ä

Yeah, right.

As all dreams go, this one finally came to an end when the student behind me (who was also asleep) let his foot off the brake and slammed into my beautiful 4-door Escort.

Such tragedies would not happen if a supertrain were speeding through the air to our beloved college.
If only parking dreams could come true.

-Travis Henry