Whatās love got to do with it? Nothing

By Michael BeDan
The Metropolitan

Love.

When two people commit to a relationship, an element of trust must exist for it to work well. When a couple decides to spend life together, with children, it must be rock solid to endure.

|There are money issues, monogamy issues, parenting issues, possession issues, in-law issues, mutual friends, exclusive friends, habits to consider, sexual compatibility, intellectual compatibility ... endless. Iāve been married for more than two years (no children, yet) and already I realize this.

One issue that often hinders or, if allowed, destroys, is the in-law/family issue.

If your mom or dad or both donāt approve of the one youāve chosen to spend your life with, you have a choice: ignore mom and dad or allow them to interfere.

A tough choice, depending on your relationship with mom and dad.

Sometimes, however, it becomes a bigger issue when the ćtill death do you partä part comes into play. It happened to several friends of friends of mine.

And, if death isnāt bad enough, in one case a child also lost a mother.

Parents of the dead woman never approved of the relationship to begin with. When she died, mom and dad came barging in, gathered the coupleās mutual possessions and treated the grieving spouse like an afterthought. Even at the funeral.

Another instance involved a woman whose spouse was financially sound but made the mistake of sharing, like most couples, all their possessions. The house, the cars, the bank accounts.

When she died of cancer, her family took everything, leaving her spouse nothing.

Life is tough enough when a loved one dies. When the pain is doubled by greedy or ignorant members of the deceasedās family, it can be torture.

Why?

Because in both cases the couples were women.

In the good olā U. S. of A., gay doesnāt count.

It goes against the Christian Bible. It goes against everything this country was founded on.

That is, if you believe the Christian Bible teaches hate and the country was founded on theft.

And if you read the Bible or know anything about U.S. history, it makes sense.

Unfortunately, love never enters the picture. If a family doesnāt approve of a gay relationship and that relationship ends in the death of a partner, the rules of decency and rules that would apply to a straight couple go right out the window.

Now a woman must raise a daughter alone. Without a house. Without the financial security she and her partner built together.

Another woman lost what was initially hers but shared with her partner the way most straight couples share.

Prenuptial?

Doesnāt apply. Gay couples arenāt allowed to marry.

Legal avenues? Wills?

Not here. The law doesnāt recognize gay couples as real people.

Whatās love got to do with it?

Nothing.

Not in this case.

Not here.