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Halloween ghouls curse political fools
By Andrew Flohr-Spence
spencand@mscd.edu

As I stood in the crowd at my friend’s Halloween party this weekend, a pale-faced, mannequin-looking gentleman brought up the midterm elections. A roar of mixed enthusiasm filled the room. Being a party in Denver’s Capitol Hill neighborhood – a relative hotbed of students, homosexuals, musicians, radicals, artists and freaks of all sorts – the group was jubilant at potentially seeing the Republican Party get its ass whupped this Nov. 7.

Still, it must be said that even in good years, not everyone pays attention to politics. Many people groaned at its first mention and were quick to depart the room, and I can understand the sentiment. Not everyone can be lied to repeatedly and still keep paying attention.

A bit reluctant myself, I leaned against the wall with my beer, between Chupacabra and a spine-tingling Olivia Newton-John, and noted the crowd’s reaction. When Batman pointed his finger and said the wave of conservatism looked to be over, Robin nodded her head in agreement.

Naked Chef straightened his apron and mused about the effect of Sen. Foley’s love for pages. Even Road Warrior appeared optimistic about how things were looking. Everyone seemed more than happy that the current administration would receive a wake-up call in the coming election. I hadn’t seen a group so happy about politics in years.

The mood did change, though, when local politics came up. There was a general dismay for the endless number of ballot measures and flat-out depression about the dismal choices for governor.

“I don’t know who to vote for,” Robin said. “The choice is between a Catholic ex-district attorney who was raised on a chicken farm and always sided with the police when investigating killer cops, and a Catholic businessman who sold off his family’s horse ranch to develop it into a golf course and subdivision.”

“They’re both pro-life and they both suck,” Batman agreed.

“Don’t forget about the American Constitution Party,” Mannequin said. “The guy is a Libertarian Bible-thumper who thinks all schooling should be done by parents.”

The room’s answer was a few expletives and a hallelujah or two.

“And the actual Libertarians have some lady running,” Rubik’s Cube said. “She’s like 34 years old or something and is the only pro-choice candidate, but she’s a goddamn Libertarian, for Christ’s sake.”

“Hey, don’t tread on the Libertarians, girl,” Naked Chef replied.

“Yeah, live free or die, man,” said Road Warrior, raising his gun.

As the laughs faded, I added the independent candidate to the list.

“He’s like a ballet dancer or something, so of the five candidates, he actually has some really good ideas about getting art, music, and sports back into the schools, and stopping the stupid CSAP testing. He’s even low-key on immigration. I thought about voting for him, but then he’s a religious nut, so never mind.”

Chupacabra did not agree.

“No way! You can’t vote for the third parties, or it’ll give the election to the Republicans,” he said passionately. Shaking his bloody goat, he reminded us all of the 2000 election, when the Green Party supposedly ruined everything. The mythical beast did have a point.

Standing on the porch near the end of the night, Mannequin and I smoked a cigarette and discussed the conversation. I knew what Chupacabra meant, but I remained unconvinced a person should vote for the lesser evil.

“It will be nice to see the shake-up in national politics this election, but I doubt the Democrats can do much better with the big issues,” I said.

“Yeah, in the end it’s still evil, like KRS-One says,” Mannequin said. “I took the time to inform myself about the candidates and I found that they all stink. When I go into that booth on Nov. 7, I will make a decision right then and there, and it will not be without cursing their names under my breath.”

I could not have said it better.