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Black lung, clean conscience
By Andrew Flohr-Spence
spencand@mscd.edu

The sidewalk outside the bar was covered with snow, slush and ice, and as I stepped out the door into the frozen night air to have a cigarette, I mistook a rather deep, slushy puddle for a firm place to step.

On the bright side, I reflected, the alcohol at least helped to dull the pain. Nevertheless, if I wasn’t forced to smoke outside, I wouldn’t have a wet foot. It occurred to me that smokers were now no different from dogs.

As I stood there fumbling in my pockets for a lighter, talking to myself and musing about my status among the wretched, a pair of young gentlemen trudged their way past. The short one looked at me and smiled, and I knew he was trying to think of something witty to say.

“For your health’s sake, I hope you don’t find it,” he finally quipped. Luckily for his health’s sake, I did.

After I had taken a long pull and slowly exhaled, I looked down the street after the two and smiled at the thought that tobacco had just saved another life. Still, the arrogance of the comment was disturbing.

Being forced to stand on the cold street was demeaning enough, without the random passerby openly mocking me. Not only were the stoics taking over, but now they were walking the streets policing every action. The more I thought about it, the more I worried about where this nanny trend would end.

Smoking is now banned in schools, hospitals, airplanes and government buildings. They banned it from outdoor stadiums, and they banned it from prisons. Now they have even banned smoking from the very home of debauchery and ill health itself: the bar. And already this guy wanted the sidewalks smoke-free, too.

At some point in the last couple decades, we gave up on our ability to make rational decisions for ourselves, and now we just leave it up to the politicians. We have given them the power to legislate our health and habits, and they have begun banning everything that isn’t nailed down.

The Colorado Indoor Air Act of 2006 opened the gates of legislative hell, and already the demons are pouring in. Two new proposed smoking bills, one closing the cigar-bar loophole and another opening a new loophole, are slated for debate this month. And surely, this will not stop at smoking.

The list of dangers in our environment is long, but life is just not that simple. Humans are in the business of risk. Every waking moment we exist on this sweet coil is a miracle in the face of the dangers surrounding us. Every moment is a challenge to balance the knowledge of the unpleasant reality we face and still find the time for happiness in our busy dance across the stage.

If we live in constant fear that unhealthiness is waiting around the corner, we are robbing ourselves of life. Not that one should smoke crack all day long just ’cause you feel like it. Crack is stupid, riding a barrel over Niagara Falls is stupid, ghost riding the whip (Youtube it), stupid. To a lesser extent, so is drinking a tumbler of 15-year-old scotch, eating a thick bloody steak or even riding your bicycle, but they are all choices that we make, just like a nonsmoker chooses to go into a smoky bar.

Each and every one of us has a vice that we indulge in from time to time – except maybe the guy in a mountain cave living like some hermit monk. We all have our own weakness. The danger of letting weakness grow into a problem should never be taken lightly, but weakness is for the individual to manage. The state should have very little to say. The hypocrisy of a Diet-Coke drinking, overweight, warmongering state telling me to put down my smoke – in a freaking bar of all places – just about makes me break out in a fit of coughing.

When we give the state the mandate to create laws concerning our health and habits, we are displacing personal responsibility with political legislation and allowing the government to delve into areas that aren’t their business. If we continue to do so, we shouldn’t be surprised when they end up banning fun.