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Can't sell me love
By Jeremy Johnson
jjohn308@mscd.edu

Certain holidays are known for the consumption of certain alcohols. We drink Mexican cervezas on Cinco de Mayo, champagne on New Year’s Eve, microbrews or American lagers on Independence Day, liqueurs around Christmas and nice bottles of red wine on Valentine’s Day. It’s not a requirement, but we all understand the correlation between holidays and the culture they showcase. Food and booze are some of the common ground among our various cultures.

While watching cartoons – yes, cartoons, of all things – on Feb. 7, I saw the first commercial for St. Patrick’s Day. It was a Guinness commercial, reminding consumers to purchase some Guinness beer for St. Patty’s Day celebrations. They also reminded the consumer to drink responsibly, and we all know that everybody takes that advice to heart while celebrating Irish heritage.

Shopping for hooch on St. Patty’s Day doesn’t require a major game plan. It’s not like shopping for relatives at Christmas. There is not a lot of thought involved. I usually do my St. Patty’s Day shopping on March 16, and it usually takes eight to 10 minutes of planning. I go to the liquor store to pick up a 12-pack of Guinness and a fifth of Jameson. Done and done. It is certainly not the kind of thing you spend five weeks planning, so why advertise such a celebrated holiday so needlessly early?

In the name of St. Patty’s Day, Guinness execs are following the example set by holiday execs for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, Cinco de Mayo and Halloween. Companies begin advertising six to 10 and sometimes 12 weeks ahead in attempts to gain consumers’ attention for these holidays. Every time a consumer feeds into this advertising by buying a product, ad execs decide to begin advertising that much earlier the following season.

Shortly after spending more money than most of us have on Christmas gifts, Valentine’s Day ads appear, ranging from King’s Jewelers to Colorado’s famous Shane Co. With us already reeling in debt, advertisers push us to spend more. And, face it, Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark product just like Mother’s and Father’s Day. It was invented to tap into your wallet, not to express your unfailing love to your girlfriend, spouse, mom or dad. If your relationship is based on anything other than material wealth, those people should already be well aware of your undying love. In fact, here’s an idea: Call your mom once a week. That would be a better gift to her than any set of diamond earrings.

Movies follow the same advertising schedules. Of course, movies aren’t made for Thanksgiving – go figure, a nation’s attempt at genocide kind of kills the holiday spirit. But, of course, movies are specifically advertised well ahead of time to coincide with certain holidays. Romantic comedies come out soon after the New Year, just in time for Valentine’s Day, and movies about Santa Claus come out prior to Thanksgiving Day, so that we might all have a full month or more to catch Tim Allen’s latest holiday spoof.

Sure, an advertiser’s job is to be timely. But when timeliness means a barrage of needless advertising that comes on the heels of another holiday, it has gone too far. Holidays should not consume us. Family, work, friendship and community should consume us. A holiday should be a little vacation when we have time to reflect on the rest of our lives and those involved. Instead, holidays have become a constant consumerist machine forever nagging at our wallet.

I have a solution. If everyone boycotted the first three, five or 10 advertisements they see too soon before the actual holiday, perhaps advertisers would be inclined to let the holidays go for a couple of weeks in between.

Actually, I’m thinking about a nice 12-pack of German lager and a fifth of single-malt scotch this St. Patty’s Day. I’ll feel bad watching all of those people drinking Guinness and Jameson on St. Patty’s, but I hope to make the advertisers who overestimated my brand loyalty feel even worse.
Who knows, maybe I’ll even wear yellow.