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Grouchy about Oscar
By Brandon Pearce
bpearce@mscd.edu

I have a confession to make. I did not see The Departed, which won the Oscar for Best Picture of 2006, nor do I intend to. I did not see any of the Best Picture nominees. I did not see Titanic, A Beautiful Mind, Million Dollar Baby or any other number of Academy Award-winning movies. As a matter of fact, I usually consider winning the Oscar for Best Picture a mark against the movie.

The movies that the Academy thinks are great, generally speaking, are the kind that try really hard to bring out some poignant, dark or troubling side of real life. Why would I want to pay $9 to go see reality? I’m living in reality. For those of you living in an alternate plane or drug-induced delirium, I can see why these movies would appeal to you. They keep you grounded, so to speak.

Another characteristic of Oscar-winning movies is that they are usually sad and/or thought-provoking. But there is already a huge entertainment service that deals almost exclusively in the sad and thought-provoking. It’s called the news, and it’s free. For those of you who need a movie to provoke thought, I understand. As for me, if I want sad and thought-provoking, I will just call my in-laws.

I want realistic special effects, not reality. I want side-splitting spoofs, not heart-wrenching poignancy. I want humorous romantic hijinks, not real-life relationship strife. I want white-knuckled suspense, not ennui-inducing authenticity. And for heaven’s sake, I want a happy ending! A movie should allow the viewer to escape this sad, thought-provoking reality. Make them laugh, cheer or dream, or if possible, all three at the same time. I’m sure that I’m not alone in this opinion.

Only two Best Picture winners appear in the list of the top 100 grossing movies of all time: Titanic and The Lord of the Rings: Return Of The King. Only seven appear in the top 200. Before 2004, no fantasy/adventure movie had ever won the Oscar for best picture, and no comedy has ever won. This leaves many entertainment geniuses, like Mike Myers, out in the cold. The five movies that were nominated for the Best Picture Award this year totaled only $259 million in gross theater revenues. That may sound like a lot, but it is just over half of the total theater revenues from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest alone.

I am not suggesting that the Academy give the Oscar automatically to the movie that was the most watched. Can the movie industry not produce a movie that is well told without being depressing?
Can they not make a film that is both wonderfully acted and uplifting? Recently, the answer has been no, and that is sad and thought-provoking.