Home > Insight
 Lesbian
couple sit into history
Divorce has never been an option for Sheila Schroeder. Her parents
have been married for 50 years and her siblings – with their
respective spouses – are also in it for the long haul, she
said. The kicker for Sheila and her partner for more then five
years, Kate Burns, is marriage has never been an option either.
Kate said their story is typical. They met. They fell in love.
And they wanted to get married. And in 2003, they did have a commitment
ceremony at Kate’s church, the First Unitarian Society of
Denver. But while they may be married in the eyes of their church,
under the laws in Colorado the lesbian couple couldn’t be
more single.
And while Sheila grew up knowing divorce wasn’t
an option, Kate grew up knowing she had to stand up when something
was wrong.
So the couple sat.
They sat in protest of Colorado’s
Amendment 43, that says marriage is a union between only a man
and a woman, on Sept. 24 in front of Denver’s Deputy Clerk
JoAnn Keys’ desk, where marriage licenses are issued, after
they were denied one because they are both female.
“We will
no longer accept secondclass citizenship,” Sheila said. “Equal
treatment under the law means equal treatment under the law.”
Kate
said the government is denying her fi rst amendment freedom of
religion. “Our church believes in marrying any two people
in love,” she said.
The couple wore matching pink armbands
to alert the police they were the two to be arrested if it came
to that. They also held matching bouquets.
A crowd of about 20
supporters filled in the city clerk’s office, mostly members
of the church and Soul- Force, a national nonviolent civil rights
and social justice organization.
City staff said this was just
another day at the office for them.
When Kate and Sheila preformed
their commitment ceremony in 2003, Sheila’s Midwestern family
came out to celebrate. Kate’s Colorado family did not. But
when Kate saw the love Sheila’s family had for both of them,
everything seemed better.
“I didn’t know the sacrament
of marriage had that much power,” Kate said.
“It’s
a different sort of feeling,” said Sheila about love after
marriage. “It’s an amazing sort of thing.”
A
young lesbian couple introduced themselves to Kate and Sheila.
Both 21, Brandy Lawrence and Brandi Schnepf said they have considered
moving to Canada to get married.
There, they could fi le taxes
jointly. They wouldn’t have to worry about not being able
to adopt one another’s children, or being able to visit each
other in a hospital if the worst happens.
“We’re not
alone,” Sheila said. “This isn’t just for us.”
And
according to the couple, more sit-ins could happen in the future.
They said they have friends who are ready to follow them.
Kate
said, “We’re going to stand with them.”
Sheila
continued, “We hope this is the start of something wonderful,
not the end of today.”
Both are convinced gay marriage will
be legalized in their lifetime.
“People will look and laugh
that this country wouldn’t allow two people to marry because
they were the same gender,” Kate said.
I was standing next
to the crowd when onlooker Kathy Newman approached me.
“Most
people here support this don’t they?” she asked me.
I explained there were only one or two protestors outside, but
yes, the crowd that had assembled in the office was here to support
the couple.
I asked her if she was there to support the couple.
“Of
course,” she said. “I don’t understand why this
is an issue. Whose business is it if they want to get married?
It doesn’t affect me.
” Kathy’s been married to
her current husband for 15 years. I asked her if she had ever thought
of gay marriage before it became such a political issue.
She smiled, “Yeah,
my daughter is a lesbian,” she told me. “She has a
partner and they have a child. They’ve been together about
six years.
” When I asked her if she wants her daughter to
get married she takes a step back, “It doesn’t matter.
They need to do what’s right for them.”
Later Kathy
leaned into another reporter, “I don’t know why they
(Sheila and Kate) can’t just be a normal couple doing a normal
thing.”
To Kathy, it’s simple. They love each other
and it is up to neither her nor anyone else to say they shouldn’t
be married in the eyes of their god and our government that is
based on equal rights.
And no matter what the offi ce staff said
this day wasn’t typical. This was a day made for the history
books. And no matter what Kathy wishes, these ladies aren’t
normal. And they never will be again. The bravery they solemnly
and politely exuberated was extraordinary. When the clerk’s
offi ce closed at 5 p.m. Kate and Sheila continued to sit. They
refused to leave until they were given a marriage license. They
were arrested, arm-cuffed and led out of the building carrying
their bouquets. |