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Tyson bites off more than he can chew
By David Pollan
dpollan@mscd.edu

Mike Tyson has made headlines again, and no he is not coming back to boxing to reclaim the title he lost in 1990. I know the most recent Tyson headlines in years past have been related to Tyson trying drastically, and failing miserably, to revive his once tremendous boxing career, but not this time.

No, this time the ear-chewing rapist punk faces jail time after he pleaded guilty to charges of drug possession and driving under the infl uence. These charges were brought on Tyson Dec. 29 after he was pulled over for driving erratically after leaving the Pussycat Lounge in Scottsdale, Ariz.

“I had possession of cocaine, and I drove under the infl uence,” Tyson told the judge on Sept. 24.

Tyson pleaded guilty to a single felony count of cocaine possession and a misdemeanor DUI count. He faces a maximum of four years and three months in prison. His sentencing hearing is set for Nov. 19.

But the real degenerate in this new chapter of the Tyson saga is not so much Tyson as it is his rotten, flagitious excuse of a lawyer, David Chesnoff. Chesnoff is the epitome of a defense attorney, a real swine who will say anything to take the blame off his client.

“You never know,” Chesnoff was quoted as saying. “If there had been more people interested in his wellbeing and health along the way, we wouldn’t be here now.”

Are you kidding me? This pompous ass can’t be serious. Society is not to blame for Tyson’s blatant disregard for the law and continuous screwups. He is a grown man and knows the difference from right and wrong, and is in a position to seek help for himself. Don’t make excuses for his degeneracy. At least, in this instance, Tyson admitted to his wrongdoings and to having a substance abuse problem. (I guess you can call smoking Marlboro cigarettes fi lled with cocaine a substance abuse problem.) It’s people like Chesnoff, who make excuses for this depravity that are to blame, aside from the culprit himself, for the continuous downfall of Tyson. Not society.

“Don’t worry, Mike. You’re not to blame, society is because they didn’t care about you.”

Ridiculous, I know.

Tyson’s saga is a tragic one, no doubt, and it all started when he lost that belt. He never recovered and could only get a rush in life by living on the wrong side of the law. This man was once the heavyweight champion of the world, he was unstoppable and maybe the best boxer since Muhammad Ali. There was no match for his power, speed and ruthless nature in the ring. He was, without question, the greatest boxer of his time. Until, of course, he lost his belt to James “Buster” Douglas, who is only known in boxing circles as the man who dethroned Tyson, a defeat he would never recover from. So he started beating and raping women (one for sure), getting in bar fights and chomping on ear lobes. He fell from grace hard, and never got up again. He maintained, and continues to maintain, his existence as a low-life degenerate bottom-feeder.

His life is comparable to that of O.J. Simpson. Both were once the most respected and best athletes in their respective sports. Many revered them, but poor life decisions caused them to become the most scrutinized degenerates during their exodus from luxurious lifestyles and fame.

In both cases one event caused the former greats to take a turn for the worse, setting them on a road straight to prison. For Tyson it was losing the heavyweight championship of the world. For Simpson, it was being charged with the murder of his ex-wife and her friend and his subsequent acquittal. Both never recovered and only continued on the path to profligacy.

Maybe it’s stupidity, maybe it’s a call for attention, or maybe it was because of their cultural upbringing and societal norms that led to the subsequent illegality of their behavior, who knows. But I doubt it. Either way it’s been a shameful existence for both of them.

So, I say, give them both the jail time they deserve. Not that it will help—it didn’t seem to work in Tyson’s case—but it will at least rid the streets of these worthless sadists for some time. In the Juice’s case it may be forever.