Be afraid of The Litter Bug
by Tim Dunbar
Guest Columnist
When I was a kid, we were taught that The Litter Bug was a real thing
to be feared and respected, something that, if we didn't dispose of our
litter properly, would bite us. I always imagined the bite to be more
of a sting since the cartoon depiction of The Litter Bug looked-to me,
anyway-like a malevolent mosquito. Later, I found out there was no Litter
Bug, but by then it was too late. I had already learned that littering
was a bad thing and that, bite or not, it was just something I should
not do.
Gazing around campus these days leads me to believe that the lesson I
learned those many (many) years ago is just not being taught anymore.
The campus grounds are, for lack of a better term, a pigsty. Take, for
instance, the area with tables just outside the Auraria Events center,
where the other day I saw the discards from several McDonald's meals scattered
on and under the tables, not three feet away from a trash container, by
some folks who just walked away from it as they finished their meals.
Most areas outside where people gather routinely look this way, but why?
The problem is not only pure laziness and complete disregard for the
environment, but also a consensus that someone else will take care of
it. The truth is, someone else will take care of it, eventually.
Those people are called custodians, janitors, or whatever the current
politically-correct term is these days. They get paid, but not very well,
and certainly not for cleaning up your carelessly discarded soda cups,
food wrappers, cigarette packs (see next paragraph for a much needed diatribe
on cigarette-related litter) and the like. Our overworked, underpaid,
underappreciated custodial crew has far better things to do, like making
sure the toilets flush (more on that in a moment), the light bulbs light,
the floors are shined, baskets emptied, and so on. With these services
constantly threatened to be cut, some eliminated altogether, perhaps it's
time to get used to solving this problem instead of contributing to it.
*******
I don't smoke, never have. So, I don't understand the addiction, the
rationale, the habit, or the ritual of smoking. From my side of the plume,
I see it as a complete nuisance, a disgusting reality of life and an unnecessary
vice. I don't think it's cool, glamorous, sexy, or any of the things that
make it so popular.
But, it's your business if you want to slowly kill yourself with lethal
carcinogens. Smoke away, I say; knock yourself out. But please, step outside
of your smoke-filled vacuum for a moment and realize that cigarette butts,
which can be seen by the millions at every curb side, on every sidewalk,
grassy area, and outside ground surface, are, like the aforementioned
soda cups and food wrappers, litter.
They are non-biodegradable pieces of paper and filter; they clog drains,
stick to the soles of shoes and kill the grass-and they are everywhere.
There is no excuse for this; there are butt receptacles all over the place-not
to mention ashtrays in virtually every car in existence-yet smokers still
insist on sharing their filth with the rest of the world by casually flicking
their butts wherever they please. It's a beautiful campus; please don't
treat it like your own personal ashtray, garbage can or toilet.
*******
Speaking of which...is there something physically preventing people from
flushing the urinals and toilets in the men's rooms around campus? Can't
quite grasp the concept of that handle thingy? Is flushing too much of
an effort? Or, are you just simply too proud of your "masterpiece"
to let it go down? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for that whole " if
it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" thing, as
long as you live in a place where the words septic tank, sump-pump and
honeywagon come up quite often in everyday conversation.
We don't, and in this civilized (?!!) public place it's not considered
polite to share your bodily fluids with others. Well, at least not those
bodily fluids.
Now, I've never been in the ladies' room, never felt the need to go into
that mysterious and coveted place-I'd probably get my ass kicked if I
did-so I don't know if you ladies have the same problem.
The men, though, seem to suffer from flushus interruptus, or worse, flushus
nonexisticus-Latin terms for very serious medical disorders akin to stupidity
and laziness-in droves. Or, maybe we just have more students at this campus
who are from rural areas than our statistics would indicate. Either way,
if you don't know how or just haven't learned yet how to flush a toilet,
I'd be more than happy to show you. If your problem is that you just can't
bring yourself to flush, let's just say that we have a fine counseling
center here at Auraria, and leave it at that.
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