Volume 28, Issue 03, September 8, 2005

Insight

Wristbands run amok

TIM DUNBAR
dunbar@mscd.edu

These days, it seems that the wrists of virtually every student on the Auraria campus are adorned with a colored rubber band featuring some uplifting message or another. The official name for these wristbands, I'm told, is the Powerband.

Lance Armstrong, whose Livestrong campaign included the sale of over 12 million yellow wristbands, started the trend. From there the wristband craze took off and shows no sign of letting up.

Over the summer, the American Cancer Society sold hundreds of thousands of wristbands, in different colors to signify the different types of cancer. A quick check on campus came up with several, including pink for breast cancer awareness, orange for anti-tobacco sentiments and white in support of cancer survivors. The ACS also has wristbands in dark blue (colon cancer awareness), purple (Relay for Life), and lime green (promoting the early detection of cancer in the Latin community).

There are wristbands in support of hurricane Katrina relief, "Support Our Troops" wristbands, religious wristbands asking "WWJD?" (What Would Jesus Do?) and wristbands with everything from "Have Hope," and "Have Faith," to "Princess," and "Social Butterfly" stamped into them.

And while noble causes have created the most popular bands, the trend is not off-limits to sports-team support. The Broncos currently sell three variations-one orange, one blue and one multi-colored-that have the word "Broncos" stamped into them. The Rockies' bands come in black, blue and multi-colored. The Nuggets wristbands actually have the Nuggets' logo on them, where the others are simply the name of the team in no particular design.

There are even wristbands for popular television shows. "The Family Guy," my current favorite, has jumped on the bandwagon with two bands. One features Peter, the patriarch of the Griffin family, and the words "Freakin' Sweet!" The other is the football-headed infant Stewey with the words "Go to Hell" stamped in the rubber.

The trend space is getting to be a little overpopulated, if you ask me. But instead of fighting it (the way I do most trends), I thought I'd throw in a few ideas of my own. Feel free to steal these; you'll do all the work and I'll have the satisfaction that you saw it here first. I'm a big fan of random, meaningless sayings, especially for such a random, meaningless item. So here are a few I'd like to see printed on those popular-for-no-apparent-reason wristbands (colors should be left up to the wearer):

  • Makes Liver Taste Like Sherbet
  • I Don't Know!
  • This Wristband is Cutting Off My Circulation. Please Call 911
  • Crunchy, Even in Milk
  • Dazed but Not Confused
  • I'll Ride My Bike Next Time
  • Do Not Remove! Wrist Will Fall Off!!!
  • Not Today

These sayings are as ambiguous as anything you see stamped on any wristband anywhere; they make no sense whatsoever. But then, neither does wearing a rubber wristband just because everyone else is.