sports

Fantasy football not just for flakes

My attempts at being a hipster have always been dashed in one way or another by my natural tendencies toward nerdiness.

I got a job at The Metropolitan and, after meeting the mishmash of pop-cultish supergeeks and the liberally educated who make up the student staff, I thought to myself "this is home." I was enjoying a day of networking on myspace.com, quoting "The Simpsons," and making fun of cable television when I broached the subject of fantasy football with my editor, Matt.

Suddenly, the geeks became suspicious. The feminists sneered at what was certainly another meathead game. The gays and lesbians secretly questioned the sexuality of a grown man, who plays a game with the word "fantasy" in it, (I once had a girlfriend, who called it 'fancy football'). I could hear the thoughts of these people, and their minds whispered "jock."

But you don't have to be a jock to play fantasy football. You just have to enjoy watching football itself and it doesn't hurt to have a bit of geek in you. Fantasy Football is an opportunity to enjoy games that you may never have watched before. It is an opportunity, as a team owner, to live vicariously through professional athletes.

In 1962, Oakland Raider owner Bill Wickenbach created the craze along with a handful of sportswriters and broadcasters. Ten years ago, while writing sports part time in Meadville, Pa., I joined a league with my fellow co-workers and the Yakkity Yaks have dominated leagues ever since (Though, they have moved from the metropolis of Yakkity to Youngstown, Ohio).

Sundays have never been the same. Occasionally, I find myself watching the Arizona Cardinals or the Detroit Lions. Over the years, I've become immensely loyal to certain quality players like Brett Favre and Hines Ward. Unlike certain other team owners of questionable morals, I never take players who are drug addicts or guys convicted of assault or questioned for murder.

Every year we snicker as someone, late in the draft, takes Drew Bledsoe. We don't even call him that anymore-he is "Happy Feet." We relish when someone says the words Moe Williams. "Moe," we say. "Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe." See, even fantasy football has "Simpsons" references.

Talk about living vicariously. My name, Jeremy Johnson, is the same name as the Cincinnati fullback, only he spells his with an "i." But that's not vicarious enough. Johnson blocks for a running back named Rudi Johnson. That is my cat's name. Without fantasy football I could not fantasize about a world where I open holes in defensive lines for my cat.

There is nothing that beats watching Peyton Manning drive the field four times in the fourth quarter for a come-from-behind win, unless, of course, it is against your favorite team.

With or without fantasy, I would watch football all the same. But with it, the experience goes to the next level. Just ask my 5-1 Youngstown Yaks. They have a great front offense and a hell of a running game.

So if you like football, try it out sometime.

If you don't like football, you could always play one of the other fantasy sports such as hockey, baseball, basketball, NASCAR, horse racing or, (my favorite) fantasy golf.

And if none of those suit you, watch for fantasy basket weaving, coming out this spring.